Staying In The Boundaries of Love
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.”
How many of us can remember the many times someone wounded us and every time we see them or engage in conversation with them, we remember the last time they hurt us? Can you recall Michael Jackson’s song that goes like this, “Do you remember when we fell in love we were so young and innocent then, do you remember how it all began? It just seemed like heaven so why did it end”? For the whole duration of the song, he is reminiscing about all the times he had with this girl that he’s no longer with. If we bring this song into reality in our personal lives; we don’t think about the wrong someone did until we get hurt or offended.
I was in my bible study class at church one day when an awesome woman of God brought up 1 Corinthians 13:5b that said, “…and it keeps no record of being wronged.” I knew the Holy Spirit was speaking to me because it was confirmation to what He’s been trying to show me about what love is and how I can stay in the boundaries of love with my son. I started thinking back to all the times Chris asked me for something, and I said no because of a past incident that I didn’t quite let go. In the past, I worked on letting go of outside hurts from people but never practiced it in my own home. It never dawned on me that I was holding grudges against my son. Because I am the leader of my home, I never considered that I was holding my love and affection from my son due to something he did that I didn’t agree with. I was holding him responsible for my emotions based on his behavior. How fair was that? I don’t want my son to be an insecure little boy that has to tip toe around me when he does something I don’t agree with. God showed me my fault, and I had to repent. If you read 1Corninthians 13, according to scripture, I stepped out the boundaries of love plenty of times, but that’s not where I wanted to be. So I had to change with the help of God and many trials. My child is not exempt from getting godly treatment or receiving the love of Christ. With that perspective change, now I am more conscious to not hold on things my son did and love him from a clean slate. Is it perfect? No. Not by any means. But the awesome part is I am aware, and I get a chance to make that choice when I am tempted to withhold something from him because of an issue from the past. If you can become aware of some habits you do, then you can make some conscious decisions to choose a different response.
Let’s not pretend that parenting is easy. It’s not like what the well put together movies make parenting seem. It’s FAR from it! A CONSTANT work in progress. As your child grows, you will grow too. As a matter of fact, they are the reason you mature. You’ll have some good moments and some horrible moments, but if you have breath in your lungs, God has given you another opportunity to parent from a fresh start. His mercies are renewed daily! Parenting can be intimidating and challenging, but with God’s grace, you can do it. For it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose, Philippians 2:13. It’s in His will for you to treat your child with respect and love to bring glory to His name and, He has a plan for your child. God is so gracious with us that He shows us our hearts to change us. He loves you and your child. If he thought someone else could parent your child better than you, then he would have given your child to them, but He didn’t. He paired your son or daughter up with you because He knew you could handle them and bring them closer to Him. Here are three tips to help you get back on track with parenting God’s way.
1. You cannot parent without prayer. Praying for your child or children is vital. If you don’t pray over and for your child, who else will? You can’t rely on the children’s pastor’s prayers to keep them.
2. If you feel any ounce of conviction, repent and ask God to forgive you for parenting outside the boundaries of love.
3. Read and study what 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 says and compare the way you parent to Scripture and align your style with scripture.
Whether you came from a good loving home or ungodly home, the fact that you are here and want to parent God’s way is God working in you! My goal is to encourage and uplift parents that God sends my way. Consider me as your parent coach. I don’t have all the answers and I am not an expert in parenting, but I do have a desperation to seek the Lord in all that I do and to parent God’s way. A desire to see parents align their parenting with the word of God. As I learn new practices and tips, I would like to share them with you all. If you have any thoughts or suggestions, I would love to hear from you. Drop your comments below or message me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Until next time, God bless you and your parenting.